You Can't Handle the Stupid: Mangled Poetry (Merry Christmas!)

loosely based upon (stolen from) Clement Clarke Moore's "Twas the Night Before Christmas".

'Twas the night before Christmas, in the depths of the house
A strange creature was stealing the plump christmas grouse.
The fat bird was thrust in a sack with care,
In the hope that it wouldn't be noticed in there.

The creature then opened the sweet-storing sheds,
Tossing boxes of chocolates into the threads.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Heard not a whisper, in our long winter’s nap.

When below in the house there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Out through the door I flew like a flash,
I ran down the steps, only to fall with a crash.

For you see, the creature, for fear of the snow
Had been trying to steal our snow-plow below.
When no way to open the garage would appear,
The creature knocked it over--using eight tiny reindeer!

Taken from a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his curses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
Stop, Comet! Stop, Cupid! Stop, Donner and Blitzen!
Help not that stranger topple the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As the creature snapped reins, and urged them to fly,
The reindeer paid no attention to the guy.
So on to the garage door, the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and poor St Nicholas too.

And then, of a sudden, came a sound cold and aloof
The pounding and stepping of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the garage came, with an awful loud sound.

And there was St. Nick, from his head to his foot,
Covered by a layer of ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
Was so shredded and broken it looked not like a sack.

His eyes--how they flamed! his fury: hail-mary!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn tight like a bow,
And the beard, under soot, was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook as he swore, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right furious old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word to me, but went straight to his work,
And gave the creature to know, he was a right-nasty jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Up the chimney, the creature rose!

He shrieked and clawed, but with a low, dejected whistle,
Away the monster flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Crappy Christmas to all, and to all a good-fright!"

Scouting the Flames: December

People need to stop thinking trading Bouwmeester is a good idea.  Right now.

Poor Mikael Backlund has been the victim of some atrocious luck.  The team only scores on roughly 4-5% of its shots while he's on the ice.  To put that in perspective, the NHL average is something like 8%.

Derek Smith seems to really have something when he has a decent d-partner (in other words, not Babchuk).  That said, he isn't a top 4 defenseman, and the Flames need Giordano back in spite of the implication where T.J. Brodie is concerned.

The Flames can't seem to find a bottom pair dman to play with Brodie.  On that note, I believe Joe Piskula is still on the team.  What's up with that?

Chris Butler's play has slipped somewhat recently, though he showed some signs of life the other night against Florida.

Leland Irving!!! that is all.

Roman Horak has been warming the bench a lot lately in light of the play of Brendan Morrison.  I wonder how BMo's direct promotion to the 2nd line affects Matt Stajan.

In spite of the stigma, Stajan has been not awful.  In fact, there have been many games where, if not for the play of Backlund, I would have liked Stajan to get more ice time.  Oh well.

And now, for the Flames' 3 stars so far this season:

1. Miikka Kiprusoff -- Duh.  I mean, really, who needs this explained?
2. Olli Jokinen -- With the possible exception of Backlund (it would be him if not for the paltry 3 points) Olli has been by far the Flames' most consistent forward--perhaps the most consistent performer other than Kiprusoff.
3. Jay Bouwmeester -- You had to see this coming. Really, his importance to this team can't be over-stated.

The System

Abbotsford

In spite of the calling up of Irving, Joni Ortio hasn't played a minute of hockey since November, and has started exactly 1 game.  I understand the desire to win (and, Ortio's numbers so far don't really inspire confidence) but the Flames have a vested interest in the way Joni's development goes... not so much for this Danny Taylor guy, or whatever his name is.  He's getting the starts, but every game he plays is lost development time that would be better spent on the goalie the Flames actually drafted, especially since Taylor will likely be gone after this season anyway.  This is really the only decision of Troy Ward's (other than Russ Sinkewich's inclusion on the roster in lieu of James Martin) that has bothered me.  The Heat are a good team, they can afford to have their goalie flounder for a few games to find his legs.  And when he (Ortio) does, he's more talented than Taylor anyway.  It will end up benefiting the team over time.  \rant.

By the way, the Abbotsford Heat have won 6 straight games (actually, as of the writing of this sentence, that streak has been stopped by an overtime loss to the Hamilton Bulldogs), in spite of a) the loss of their best goalie and b) the sudden disappearance of Greg Nemisz's scoring touch (without a point in 6 games, 7 if one includes his cup of coffee with the Flames (2 Heat games) which brings the grand total to 8 AHL games without a point from Nemisz).

**Stupid re-alignment** The Heat are 3rd in the "West Division".  By some astonishing twist of fate, that makes them 3rd in the entire AHL as well.

Elsewhere

Unsurprisingly, Max Reinhart and Michael Ferland did not make the Canadian Junior squad.  However, the signs are looking increasingly good for a player I had initially written off.  Because of an injury to Rocco Grimaldi and the surprising (and ill-advised) unclusion of Jarred Knight by the United States, Johnny Gaudreau of the Boston College Eagles actually looks like he just might make the American team.  In order to make the roster, Gaudreau has to beat a mere 4 players.  Those 4 are Josh Archibald, Connor Brickley, Austin Czarnik, and Austin Watson, with a reasonably good chance at beating Kenny Agostino as well.  I'm not saying Gaudreau is a lock, but his chances went from 0 to about 53%, especially considering how much more talented he is than any of those others.  He is, however, quite small.  Even so, his chances are much better than I thought.

The Flames, though, are guaranteed no less than 3 prospects in the world Juniors.  They are Sven Baertschi (Switzerland), Markus Granlund (Finland), and Bill Arnold (United States).  Oh snap, who called it? Go me.

Patrick Holland has hit a hot streak (about time).  John Ramage has no points since my last post, and has accrued a staggeringly bad -11 rating.  I know +/- is mostly a garbage stat, and he plays for a pretty bad team, but come on.  He's a much better player than that putrid rating.

Nothing else of note is going on.

And now, to watch the Flames flail it out against the Blackhawks.

1000 Words: A Limited 1 Time Offer...

A new Christmas album from Rob Zombie, featuring such timeless classics as "Wreck the Halls" and "Silent Fright" for your holiday enjoyment.  This is a limited time offer only, so place your orders now.










Wouldn't it be great if Zombie actually did a Christmas album?

Prospecting: Leland Irving / Michael Ferland

There's been some activity on the prospect front for the Flames this season... when was the last time there's been this much?

First (of the most recent) of all, Leland Irving was called up to replace the injured Calgary Tower.  It's unlikely he'll get any playing time at all unless Kiprusoff gets hurt (and because of this, Karlsson's injury is actually better for Joni Ortio than it is for Irving).  We can hope, though, for a Corey Crawford type breakout.

Second, LW Michael Ferland was signed to an ELC late yesterday.  Details here.  This makes him the 2nd player from the Flames impressive 2010 draft class signed to a contract (the first was C Max Reinhart). 

LELAND IRVING, G

BORN: April 11, 1988
HOMETOWN: Swan Hills AB, Canada
HEIGHT: 6'0"
WEIGHT: 176 pounds
DRAFTED: 1st round, 26th
ACQUIRED: 2006 draft (1st selection)

Irving is what you might call a "meat and potatoes" goaltender.  His style is not dissimilar to that of Carey Price, in that it relies on impeccable positioning and makes every save look routine--this to the point of making Irving very boring to watch when he's on his game.  Now before anyone starts crying foul on the Price comparison, I'll just say right now that Irving isn't nearly as talented as Price.  Irving is a technical goaltender who, when on his game, is very hard to beat because he's always in position.

Therein lies the problem.  "When on his game." Irving's main issue is consistency.  He'll have stretches--such as the one that had him named AHL goaltender of the week--where he stops 95% of the shots he faces.  He'll have other lengthy stretches where his sv% is closer to 85%.  Thankfully though, these dry spells have become less and less extended over the course of his development path.  Irving also has a rather small frame, and thus doesn't cover much of the net.  This can cause problems on wider shots, especially when his positioning is a little off, because he doesn't quite have the reflexes of a more talented goalie such as Joni Ortio.

All that said, Irving is certainly the best of the 3 goalies the Flames currently have outside the NHL (Irving, Ortio, and Laurent Brossoit), and he has the upside to be a decent intermittent starter (a 1A if you will) like Dwayne Roloson or  Jean-Sebastian Giguere.  Of course, he could be a total bust, as well.  The only way to really tell is if he plays an NHL game or 2.

MICHAEL FERLAND, LW

BORN: April 20, 1992
HOMETOWN: Swan River MB, Canada
HEIGHT: 6'2"
WEIGHT: 208 pounds
DRAFTED: 5th round, 133rd
ACQUIRED: 2010 draft (5th selection)

Ferland has put up some nice numbers for the Brandon Wheat Kings so far this season.  The fine statistics (as well as his gritty playing style) have earned him an invite to Canada's WJC selection camp.  Though it should be noted that Ferland possesses fairly soft hands, especially for a player who uses them so frequently for fighting, it is Ferland's grinding physical game that drives his value--as well as his pest-ish qualities.  If he makes team Canada, it will be because they want to bring in a physical, agitating element to replace that of the departed Stefan Della Rovere and Zack Kassian.  I could see Ferland as a 4th line winger on the team, but honestly I don't think his chances of making it are all that great.  On top of an advanced physical game and some good hands, Ferland also has a fairly good shot, and a decent passing game.

While his stats, especially this season, look quite impressive, it should be noted that he's been playing on a line with Senators prospect Mark Stone, who's been something of a point factory this season.  Ferland has cooled off mightily of late, as well.  Ferland also has a habit of taking stupid penalties, though that seems to have abated somewhat with his increased scoring role.

His counting numbers in the WHL have given some Flames fans hope that Ferland might become a 2nd line forward.  I doubt that, myself, as I see him more as a grinding 4th liner who can play a regular shift, and might see time on a powerplay because of his net-presence.  He could become a 3rd liner though, provided his defensive game improves accordingly.  There seems to be a fair bit of Brandon Prust in his game, and if that comparison is apt, signing Ferland couldn't be a bad thing for the Flames.

Lost Yo Marbles: The Ramp is For Pedestrians, Jackass

There are no words for how much it bothers me when some moron hurtles down the ramp at the train station on his bicycle (is it surprising that I never see women do this? Probably not).  Today, I actually saw a guy do a wheelie.  Going down an incline.  On a bicycle that's too short for him.  With no helmet.  What's the word for that?  I can't remember.

heheh, Mythbusters (0:35)

Kill the Messenger: Jay Feaster is NOT a Bum. And I Can Prove It.

Feaster has been smart so far in not making moves just for the sake of making moves.  He refrained from taking part in the FA frenzy that saw James Wisniewski sign that ridiculous $5.5 million contract and, though his strategy resulted in paying Anton Babchuk ~2.5 million, it also landed his team the services of Scott Hannan for a mere $1 million (and, though he has struggled a little, he is well worth that contract).  But what about the deals Feaster has made?  Let's take a look at the players the Flames have acquired under Jay Feaster via trade.

Jay Feaster doing his best Brent Butt impression

Chris Butler

Butler is one player, I think we can all agree, who has smashed all expectations leveled at him since his acquisition.  After the infamous (for no particular reason) Robyn Regehr trade with Buffalo, Jay said in an interview that he and the coaching staff saw him as a #5 defenseman at this point.  To this point in the season he has been, at worst, a #3 defenseman for the Flames.  He, along with Jay Bouwmeester, plays against the other teams' best forwards at even strength (1.806 Corsi Rel QoC, 4th (1st among dmen)), starts in the offensive zone a mere 43.6% of the time (44.6% for Bouwmeester) and still manages to drive possession--as seen in his positive on ice Corsi (1.96, 6th on the team--9.2 Corsi Rel, 4th).  If someone had told me that Chris Butler would replace EVERYTHING Robyn Regehr brought to the team (for a quarter of the cost) I would not have believed them.  Of course, Butler's physical game has a way to go to compare to Regehr's... so I guess not everything was replaced.
The catch here is that Butler's playing the best hockey of his life right now... we'll see if he can sustain it.  All the same, I think it's pretty clear that the Flames picked up a legitimate top 4 defenseman.

Paul Byron

I don't think Byron will ever blow anyone away with his offensive stats, but he was exactly the player the Flames needed--he's fast, young, and skilled.  He's already a passable 3rd line winger, so it isn't outside the realms of possibility that he could become a top 6 forward.  I'm not exactly holding my breath for that, but I would like Byron to stick around in a Flames jersey for a long time.  My 1st (and 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc) thought the 1st time I saw him play was: "Holly [shoot] is he fast!"

Roman Horak

Horak seems to already have achieved the potential most experts projected him to have--at the age of 20.  It's not outside the realm of possibility for Horak to become a legitimate top 6 forward in the future... again though, I wouldn't be surprised if he stayed a 3rd line center for the rest of his career either.  The thing I like most about Horak is his 2way game.  The fact that he can play effectively at both ends of the ice at his age... he's even seen time on the Flames' penalty kill.  One of the few pleasant rookie surprises the Flames have enjoyed in the last decade or so.  The difficulty of his icetime has been reduced somewhat recently, with the result that his possession numbers have improved slightly.  He's still riding some favourable percentages (14.3 sh% for example) so I wouldn't expect him to continue scoring at the rate he has been so far.  Still, promising.

Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond

I'll start by saying this trade irked me right from the beginning.  It sounds like Sutter pushed for this one, though, so... I don't know.  I have no comprehension of why Sutter (allegedly) likes Leblond so much.  He doesn't appear to have any function that I can see, other than taking bad penalties.  Still, if anyone was expecting something to come of this acquisition, something was unhinged in their head.

Lee Stempniak

I know he hasn't been scoring all that much since he joined the Flames, and they gave up a very good 2way center (Daymond Langkow) in the process, but Stempniak has actually been fairly good.  He's put up some decent possession numbers (7.3 Corsi Rel) against 3rd line competition.  More importantly, he's been a fixture on the penalty kill, and (in my opinion) he's done fairly well.  Best of all, he costs about half as much as Langkow did.  While I wouldn't try to claim the Flames won this trade, they didn't exactly lose either.

Scouting the Flames: November

So things aren't going so great for the big club these days.  They've got a match up against the league-leading Chicago Blackhawks tonight... and considering how the last one went, we shouldn't be surprised if the 'Hawks increase their lead over the surprising (and thoroughly over-performing) Minnesota Wild.

The Bad

For the second month in a row, Mr. Babchuk is my poster boy for "the bad".
sorry.

There's a lot to get through for this section.  I'll keep most of it pretty short (considering how long this post was last month)

Anton Babchuk.  Wow, is he bad.  His injury might have saved the Flames' season.  Of course, they haven't been any better without him (and arguably worse).  Still, when T.J. Brodie is less of a defensive liability than you are... well, you've got some things to work on, yes?

Iginla still isn't scoring.  Mostly, he's just not playing well often enough.

Bourque has points (all goals) in only 3 games this year.  He just played a fine game against the Ottawa Senators... wherein he still didn't score.

Kipper's excellent play has seen him get more starts than the brass would like him to have had at this point.  Of course, if Henrik Karlsson had any form of luck, this likely wouldn't be the case.  Looks like another busy season for Kiprusoff.

Mark Giordano and Scott Hannan are getting killed out there, in spite of all the offensive zone starts.  And yet, their counting numbers still look better than the rest of the defensemen...

$4.5 million (3.5 cap hit) is a lot to spend on a 4th line center.

The Flames are still on the hook for half of Niklas Hagman's $3mil salary, in spite of the fact that he now plays for the Anaheim Ducks.  Even so, it's still cheaper to have that 1.5 in dead cap space with Paul Byron called up than to have Hagman sitting in the press box.

Mikael Backlund has played only 3 games, and is already a -5 with no points.  The worst part of it is, he's actually played quite well, but playing with Jarome Iginla lately hasn't been much of a good thing.

Backlund isn't the only one.  In spite of some decent possession numbers, Lee Stempniak has scored just 7 points.

The game against Chicago on the 11th marks the first time in Jarome Iginla's career that he has played with at least 5 players below the age of 25.  How depressing.

Moss is still hurt!  Rene Bourque has, apparently, missed 2 practices in a row.

The Good

This list seems to get shorter and shorter all the time.

Anyone who misses Robyn Regehr take heart:  Chris Butler has smashed all expectations and has actually been acceptable playing with Jay Bouwmeester against top competition!  Once regarded as a possible "potential" top 4 defenseman, he appears to already be at that level somehow.  Granted, he's playing the best hockey of his career right now.

Roman Horak has brought some stability to the Flames at center ice.  He is currently playing between Paul Byron and Lee Stempniak on the Flames' 3rd line, and they've been effective so far.  Let's just hope that pucks start going in for them.

Miikka Kiprusoff is putting up starting goalie numbers these days.  No idea whether that has to do with starting relatively fewer games to this point or not, but whatever.  Enjoy it.  Might make him easier to trade later, for those of you who want Feaster to blow it up a little bit.

The 5 players under 25 I mentioned earlier are Chris Butler, Mikael Backlund, Paul Byron, T.J. Brodie, and Roman Horak if you care (in descending order of age).

I never would have guessed from his performance in the preseason, but Derek Smith is actually a decent player.  Makes me wish the Flames hadn't re-signed Anton Babchuk.

And now, considering how negative I am about "Boom Boom", I shall say something good about him.  He makes a terrible powerplay almost passable just from his mere presence.  Of course, T.J. Brodie does that too.

Speaking of Brodie, no doubt you have noticed that he's not nearly as exiting now as he used to be.  The reason?  He takes fewer risks.  He's a skilled player, so I'll take him with a little defensive awareness any day.  The offensive chances will come, most likely on the power play.

Anyone who complains about Jay Bouwmeester (unless those complaints are directly related to his contract) should stop right now.  He plays against top competition with heavy defensive zone starts (the zone starts pertain only to this season) and still puts up better possession numbers than Mark Giordano (again, this season).  Sure he doesn't put up many points, but at the end of the day, a prevented goal is worth just as much as a scored goal.  And Jbo is very good at the things a defenseman is supposed to be good at.

Brent Sutter has finally eased up on the difficulty of Roman Horak's ice time.  A little.

Elsewhere

It recently occurred to me just how good the 2010 draft is looking for the Flames right now.  Max Reinhart, Joey Leach, John Ramage, Bill Arnold, Michael Ferland, and Patrick Holland all rank among the team's top 20 prospects according to Hockey's Future.

In spite of the hype surrounding Holland's invite to Hockey Canada's Summer Evaluation Camp for the WJC, I would expect no more than 3 Flames to take part in that tournament, since Canada is so deep at center (precluding Reinhart) and the fact that they'll likely go with a more talented player than Holland.  Ferland has a shot in my opinion, but really only if the Canadian Junior team is looking for sandpaper to follow in the footsteps of Stefan Della Rovere and Zack Kassian.  Who are the players I expect to be in the WJC?  Well, Sven Baertchi obviously for Switzerland, and probably Markus Granlund for Finland.  The last is Bill Arnold for the United States.

Why does it say "Finland" in English?

The AHL

The Abbotsford Heat have been on a tear recently.  This is, mostly, because of two things:  Leland Irving and Krys Kolanos.  Irving's sv% (as I predicted last month) has gone up now that the Heat surrender more shots per game.  Of course, it hasn't been entirely true to form, since Irving suffered a small hiccup which resulted in a slight drop in the standings for the Heat, and 3 appearances in a short amount of time for Joni Ortio.

Krys Kolanos is averaging 2 points per game.  Playing with other quality AHL veterans like Jon Rheault and Ben Walter has freed up the likes of Greg Nemisz (2nd on the team in scoring) and C Dustin Sylvester to face off against more offensively-oriented players.  The result has been a slew of W's for the Heat, who are 7-1-1 in their last nine (both losses to the Oklahoma City Barons).

Krys Kolanos (#8) patrols the ice against the Hamilton Bulldogs

Clay Wilson (3-7-10 +1 in 16) and Brendan Mikkelson (2-8-10 +2 in 16) are currently tied for the team lead in points among defensemen.  Surprise surprise, they're on the same pair.  Who's next?  That would be Joe Piskula (1-3-4 +4 in 12).

Piskula is, unfortunately, injured which, combined with Brodie's graduation to the Flames, leaves the Heat bereft of their shut-down pair.  I think John Negrin (oh yeah, him) and some guy named Patrick Cullity (???) have taken their place.  Isn't defensive depth wonderful?  They didn't even have to move Chris Breen, James Martin, or Jordan Henry from the bottom 3.

I like James Martin.  With luck, he might turn out to be John Negrin done right... if he stays healthy.  Of course, luck isn't something the Flames have been very high on of late.

Poor Mitch Wahl just can't seem to find his game.  I blame the 3 concussions he suffered last season.  Apparently, he was just loaned to the Hamilton Bulldogs for some reason.

Ryan Howse is still looking for his first point.  His first anything of note, really.  I'm trying to figure out why he hasn't been loaned to the ECHL yet, a la Bryan Cameron (who has 2 points in 2 games and is, once again, injured).

After seeing some slight improvement to his game of late, Logan MacMillan was sent down to the Utah Grizzlies.  Way to ruin an upward trend, guys.

Wow, Raitis Ivanans can score in the AHL a little!  And you just know that no one will be messing with a Greg Nemisz or Krys Kolanos while all 6'4" 244lbs of Ivanans is there.  Of course, both Nemisz and Kolanos are fairly large themselves, anyway (6'3").  And Jon Rheault is too fast to be threatened physically at this level.  Still, I'm content with Ivanans roughing up the opposition, just so long as he doesn't get another concussion.  Maybe Lance Bouma will learn a little from Ivanans, as he undoubtedly is from Guillame Desbiens.

Finland

After a lengthy pointless streak (broken by an assist in his 14th game) Markus Granlund embarked on a lengthy stint with the Finnish U20 International team, leading them with 10 points (2-8-10) in 7 games (ahead of Teemu Pulkkinen (9) and Joel Armia (5) interestingly enough).  Upon his return to HIFK, Granlund has scored 3 points (all goals) in his last 2 games, giving him 8 points (4-4-8) in 16 games in his first year in the SM-liiga.  That's fairly decent for a forward who's still only 18.

CHL

Sven Baertchi is absolutely scorching the nets in the WHL, leading the league with 2.31 points per game.  For him, that means 30 points (7-23-30 +4) in just 13 games.  Granted, he's been padding his stats (especially assists) on the powerplay, which he just didn't do last season.  Still, that pace is impressive nonetheless.

I have absolutely no comprehension how Jordan Fransoo made the WHL team ahead of Tyler Wotherspoon.  Wotherspoon is better in literally every way.  Well, it doesn't matter too much.  My favourite thing about Wotherspoon is the fact that nothing ever seems to happen while he's on the ice--aside from some punishing hits.  And yet, he still manages to put a decent number of points on the board, with 8 (3-5-8) in 17 games, and he is tied for the team lead (with Baertschi and D William Wrenn) with a +4 rating.  All three goals were scored in 3 consecutive games.

Those exited about Michael Ferland's production this season should note that he's playing on a line with the point factory that is Mark Stone.  Still, Ferland has to have a certain amount of skill for him to be Stone's go-to guy.  I still wouldn't expect anything more than a 3rd liner in the NHL out of Ferland though, which is nothing to sneeze at if he reaches that high.

Turner Elson has "Turned" (get it?) on the afterburner since my last post, and is now producing at a 1.11 points per game pace, good for second on the Red Deer Rebels with 21 points in 19 games (including an impressive 11 goals).  He looks like he has good energy, and might be a 4th liner eventually.

Patrick Holland has had a good-not-great season as Try-City's shut-down forward.  He's getting plenty of assists, I just wish he'd score a goal every now and then.  As it stands right now, he has 21 points and a +7 rating in 20 games, with only 4 of those points being goals.  To be fair, he has been scoring more of late, with 3 goals in his last 3 games.  He really is more of an all-purpose player, which isn't a bad thing.

Max Reinhart has been disappointing some fans with his modest improvements over last season's scoring rate.  I wish to point out that his scoring rate was quite modest last season as well, until the games started to matter more.  The clutch is where Reinhart really shines.  On another note, Ferland plays with Mark Stone.  The best player Max plays with is Drew Czerwonka (when he's healthy) who, while a decent player, isn't exactly a pure scorer.

Joey Leach has cooled off after a hot start.  His slowness likely limits his offensive potential, and I always thought of him as more of a shut-down defenseman anyway.  Kind of a Cory Sarich clone.

Laurent Brossoit is a workhorse goalie, and has been piling up minutes and saves for an Edmonton Oil Kings squad that lacks defensive coverage--and that even considering that two of their defensemen are named Mark Pysyk and Griffin Reinhart.  Brossoit's individual stats are, accordingly, modest.

NCAA

John Ramage has climbed to a familiar .33 scoring rate with 4 points in 12 games.  His ghastly -6 rating has me choking every time I see it, which is a shame considering how much I like him as a player.  Still, being a shut-down defenseman playing for a mediocre team isn't a recipe for gaudy stats.

As I predicted, Chris Kreider is now leading the BC Eagles in points.  Bill Arnold is still right there with him, though, just a goal and an assist back with 7 of each for 14 points in 12 games.  I fully expect Bill to dress for the American World Junior team, even if it's just as a 4th liner.

Johnny Gaudreau has cooled off dramatically after a red-hot start, and now sits at 5 goals and 5 assists in 12 games.  Still, he should be a candidate for the American Word Junior team, though he likely won't make it until next year, since he likely requires a top 6 role to be effective.

Overtime

It looks as though this might be Sven Baertschi's last year in the WHL, and he seems determined to make it a good one.  On another note, I think it's safe to say that, when it comes to trades, Jay Feaster knows what he's doing.  Every player Feaster has traded for (Roman Horak, Paul Byron, Chris Butler, Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond, and Lee Stempniak) has been at least as good as expected and, in the cases of Horak and Butler, have exceeded expectations.  You could, I suppose, argue that Leblond hasn't been as good as expected... but if you did, I'd have to ask what you were expecting.  Really, that's the only trade that stuck in my craw.

1000 Words: Chase Scenes They Haven't Done But Should

Everyone knows about the car chase. The longer the better, Hollywood seems to think. They're wrong, in my opinion, but that's another issue. Of course, sometimes it's the more the better, as in Quantum of Solace. That movie was terrible by the way.  As I recall, there was a foot chase, a boat chase, a plane chase, and, of course, a car chase.  All crammed into a short, substandard movie.  That got me to wondering: what's next for the quickly declining Action genre?  Will the next James Bond movie be even more "creative" in its chase scenes?  Here are some possibilities.

Can you think of anything quite this stupid?
A segway chase would be the height of hilarity

I don't know about you, but for me, the
mere idea of 007 bounding down the street
on one of these is almost reason enough to
pay the price of admission.

If Quantum of Solace didn't ruin the James Bond franchise
forever, I think having Bond strap himself in behind the wheel
of one of these puppies would surely do the trick.  Is anything
less dignified?  Maybe pogo sticks.

Every Bond movie needs an aquatic scene.  I think a tranquil
high-speed encounter with these beasts would do nicely.

I wonder if their moronic camera work could manage to make
a hot-air balloon chase seem exciting.

This would be good for the finale of my terrible, terrible 007
film.  Of course, if it's this funny, how could it be worse than
the last one?  You know, Quantum of Solace?  How many times
do you think I can mention that name in one blog post?

A Bust of Nelson Rockefeller: Live Train Misinformation

When they announced that we would be receiving live train information on those stupid little screens they put up in the train stations, I was thrilled. "Finally," I thought. "We'll actually have a freaking idea what's going on down the line."
What I thought (foolishly, I know) was that the screens would put up a live stream (of sorts) consisting of information of what was going on with the trains.  Like, you know, let us know about delays and stuff.  "Delay between City Hall and 1st Street~5mins" or something like that.  That's the logical conclusion when something says "Live train information" is it not?
Apparently not.
What we got instead, though, was a list of the next 3 trains and when (tentatively) they would arrive.  "Well," I thought. "At least I'll have an idea of when to storm off in disgust."
Apparently not.
No, instead what we have is when the train should arrive.  Not when (and whereabouts) it would.  It doesn't help, I maintain, when you tell me that the next train will arrive in 2 minutes... for 10 minutes.  You'd think updating it to 12 minutes would be more intelligent.
Apparently not.
There's also the small matter of inaccuracies.  This morning, it said that the next train would be there in 2 minutes (as stated above), that the following would come in 5... and that the one after that would also come in 5.  Last I checked, a station can only support 1 train at a time going in the same direction.
Apparently.  Not.
Of course, I maybe should have suspected that something stupid would happen with this, given CT's record with... well, list any complaint about them here.  I mean, they said this live train info would come in August, but it didn't actually appear (as far as I know) until mid October.  And that wasn't even during prime hours.

Ah me.  Why can't my city have a decent transit system?

You Can't Handle the Stupid: Stanley Cup Finals Prediction

as you may (or may not) know, I wrote a rather glowing piece on the Toronto Maple Leafs last weekend.

That will go a long way to explaining why I'm picking them to win the Prince of Whales Trophy as the Eastern Conference Champs in the playoffs.  The other reason is... um... well... I have no idea.  Just a feeling.

But, their opponent in the Final?  None other than the CALGARY FLAMES!!!!!!! Just kidding (though I'd love it if that happened).  My pick for the Western Conference Champion is the San Jose Sharks, which explains why Ryane Clowe is with Kessel on that picture up there.  Why Ryane Clowe?  Only because he has the awesomest name ever!

Since I've already shared my forty cents on the Leafs, it's the Sharks' turn to be in the spotlight.  Yay.

I've been raving about how good the Sharks look ever since they exchanged (only current roster players are considered, which is why these exchanges look so bad for the Wild) Dany Heatley, Devin Setoguchi, and... that's it, for Brent Burns, Martin Havlat, and James Sheppard (who?).  In that flurry of trades, the Sharks upgraded the only two things they needed upgrades in: Defense and Speed.  The Wild got some considerable firepower, which is something they really lacked, but beyond that... their defense looks downright terrible now.
Martin Havlat may not quite have the offensive prowess of Dany Heatley (at least not the goalscoring aspect, though you wouldn't know from last season) but, unlike Heater, Havlat is quite good defensively.  He also happens to be one of the finer skaters in the league, whereas Heatley... isn't.
Though the Sharks already possessed one of the deeper groups of defensemen in the league, they added a considerable amount to the high-end in Brent Burns.  When a player like Burns is your second best dman... that's a good position to be in.  I'm sure Dan Boyle appreciated the move, since he was, quite literally, doing it all for this team last season.  He saw the toughest competition, the most powerplay time, a lot of penalty kill time, AND put up 50 points.  Not bad for a 35 year old.  Somehow, he's one of the most underrated defensemen in the NHL.  I'm not sure how that happened.  It's always the guys like Boyle and Mark Streit... ahem, anyway.  When your supporting cast looks like Douglas Murray, Marc-Edouard Vlasic, Jason Demers, Colin White, Jim Vandermeer, and Justin Braun... well, let's just say GM Doug Wilson knows what he's doing.

I've said this many times, (but never here) but the Sharks also have probably the best top 6 forward group in the league (yes, that includes Vancouver).  Last season, Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, Joe Pavelski, Ryane Clowe, and Dany Heatley all put up more than 62 points.  It's worth noting that Havlat did too.  Rookie Logan Couture wasn't too far off with 56, including 32 goals.  That's 6 players with 1st line production.  6.  2 lines worth of 1st line forwards.  Pretty good, if I do say so myself.  It's worth noting that several (Couture, Pavelski, Clowe, Havlat) are also worthy hard-minutes players.

Goaltending isn't exactly their strong-suit, but Antti Niemi is about as consistent as they come.  He's one of those guys who just never seems to have a bad game, and most of the time he looks like an, at worst, average starter.

So, to conclude with the prediction:
WEST CHAMP: San Jose
Strengths: beyond elite top 6 forwards; stupefying defensive depth; good mix of defensively responsible forwards, and Power/Power capability on the top line.
Weaknesses: they're still not a fast team; goaltending isn't the best; bottom 6 forwards are dangerously close to fringe outside Michal Handzus and perhaps Torrey Mitchell.

EAST CHAMP: Toronto
Strengths: talented and diverse defense; team speed; Kessel is a natural goalscorer, and can be a gamebreaker when he feels like it; goaltending with Reimer is solid.
Weaknesses: they've been riding some cushy percentages to this point in the season; short on defensive injury replacements; hard minutes forwards.

THE VICTOR: San Jose, 6 games, 1st championship.
Series Breakdown:

Toronto wins game 1 in overtime (2-1).  Shockingly, it's Colton Orr with the goal (he also sunk the Flyers in game 7 of the Eastern final).  Kessel and Couture with regulation goals.  Orr could have gotten a Gordie Howe Hat-Trick if the hockey gods had been willing, as he tried to goad Ryane Clowe into a fight numerous times over the course of the game.  He also nearly got an assist on a scoring chance for Mike Brown in the 3rd period.

San Jose dominates game 2... but still loses.  James Reimer makes 40 saves for the shutout.  Clarke MacArthur gets the goal in the 1st period after some great work by Mikhail Grabovsky off the rush.  The Leafs were very lucky on this one, as a Grabovsky pass went off the heel of Nikolai Kulemin's stick, off the skate of a back-checking Joe Pavelski, and straight onto MacArthur's stick.  His seeing-eye shot eludes Niemi, flying right under his blocker after somehow finding a way though colossal defenseman Douglas Murray.

The Sharks pick up where they left off, dominating possession.  This time, they're rewarded, and come away with an easy 7-0 victory.  Niemi is solid when he actually faces the puck, but is only forced to make 18 saves.  Thornton with a hat-trick, Havlat with 4 points (2-2-4), Clowe scores game-winning goal (1-3-4), and Torrey Mitchell pots an empty netter.

Game 4 goes to the Sharks in a much closer contest, winning 3-2 to tie the series.  Logan Couture's 2nd of the series at 19:57 of the 3rd period keeps the game from going to overtime.  Other goals (all in 1st period, and all on PP) to defensemen Dion Phaneuf, Jake Gardiner, Dan Boyle, and Marc-Edouard Vlasic.

The Sharks take their 3rd straight win in dramatic fashion, as the score remains deadlocked at 0-0 going into overtime.  John-Michael Liles almost wins it, but his shot rings off the post right onto the stick of Brent Burns. He finds fellow former Wild Martin Havlat at the opposing blueline, and a tipped pass eludes Mike Komisarek and goes straight to Ryane Clowe, who roofs it behind James Reimer for the win.

Game 6 goes to the Sharks, of course.  The game is a goaltender's duel, going into triple overtime deadlocked at 2-2 on goals by John-Michael Liles (2), Patrick Marleau, and Joe Pavelski.  Toronto(and Wild) fans groan when the game finally ends, as Dion Phaneuf's stick explodes on an attempted one-timer, and Martin Havlat jumps on the loose puck.  The Sharks go 3 on 1 the other way, and a pretty passing play between Havlat and Joe Thornton undresses the one defenseman back (Carl Gunnarsson) and results in a final pass to Brent Burns sneaking in on the back door.  His five-hole shot eludes Reimer, and the Sharks win Lord Stanley's mug.

Joe Thornton hoists the Conn Smythe Trophy.

* I don't actually think the series will go exactly like I say.  That would be crazy though.

Kill the Messenger: The Mighty Leafs?

It seems like every time I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs this year, I'm marveling at how good they are.  Even as I write this sentence, I'm witnessing Dion Phaneuf murder the Pittsburgh Penguins on a high-tempo shift, which leads to a top-shelf goal for Clarke MacArthur.  Every game I catch, the Leafs' once laughable power play goes off like clockwork, often leading to a textbook offensive play resulting in a goal.  Brian Burke has seemingly finally managed to put together the team he wanted, a team which consistently out-works its opposition, and gains scoring chances through puck possession and smart decisions.  I know this team had a good start last season too, but I think this may actually be the year they return to the playoffs.  Why?  What makes this team any different from the rest of the various incarnations of Leafs teams which have repeatedly missed the playoffs since the lockout?

THE FORWARDS

For the first time in years, the Leafs have managed to put together an attractive group of quality forwards.  The biggest change is up the middle, which in years past has been a huge weakness for the team (last season, they had Tyler Bozak slotted in the top 6.  Laughable).  When your top 3 centers are Mikhail Grabovski, Tim Connolly, and Matt Lombardi, you're in pretty good shape, provided they're all healthy and producing, as they are all capable of 50+ points.  Of course, Lombardi has been playing wing of late, in order to have Bozak in the top 9.  I don't mind Bozak as a 3rd line center.  David Steckel as a 4th liner is nothing to sneeze at either, as he is a quality player who wins draws and plays lights-out defense.
Phil Kessel has been a machine lately, putting up some pretty ridiculous offensive numbers (9-7-16 +5 in 9).  As I'm writing, he just made that 10 goals in 10 games.  Holding a goal-per-game rate over that many games is pretty impressive, especially for a player like Kessel who is a model of inconsistency.
Mikhail Grabovski has taken heat in years past for being a lazy player who produces inconsistently.  Now, he is a reliable 2-way center who is responsible defensively and drives possession for his line.  So maybe he's not Sidney Crosby (lol) but when he has a supporting cast like he does, he's a desirable player.

THE DEFENSE

I don't know how long it's been, but the Leafs finally have a decent-looking defense corps.  And that's not just because a lack of depth no longer gives the illusion that Keith Aulie is a good player either. It's talented and diverse too, supplied with quality puck-movers like John-Michael Liles and rookie Jake Gardiner, powerful (if overrated) shut-down defenders Luke Schenn and Mike Komisarek, and high-end all-around players in Dion Phaneuf and Carl Gunnarsson.  That's a group of defenders to admire, especially being a Flames fan and having to deal with the likes of Anton Babchuk, and trying to swallow Chris Butler (a quality player, but no star) playing on the top pair.
Phaneuf seems to have finally regained the form he lost after his Norris Trophy nomination in 2008.  He currently sits at 7 points (2-5-7) and a +7 rating in 9 games.  When I watch him play, I'm reminded of the player we Flames fans saw so much promise in several years ago.  He makes smart offensive plays, winds up big slapshots, throws big hits.  He does it all.  And he does it wearing the 'C' proudly on his sweater.
John-Michael Liles, when properly kept from playing against top players on opposing teams, is a player I have liked for a long time.  He doesn't require sheltering to the extent of Anton Babchuk, because he isn't a full-on liability defensively.  Watching him skate is a pleasure for any fan of the game, as he possesses a nearly perfect stride.
The Leafs don't only have diversity on their blueline, they also have plenty of flexibility.  When they need to shut down a few high-end forwards on the other team, they have the luxury of choosing between 4--count them FOUR--players on their roster who have experience in that role.  Dion Phaneuf can do it, provided he's utilized in an offensive capacity.  The others are Carl Gunnarsson, Luke Schenn, and Mike Komisarek.  Talk about flexibility.

THE GOALTENDING

No longer do they have to choose between a big, talented goalie who seems to have had trouble adjusting to the speed of the North American game  (Jonas Gustavsson) and a slightly washed-up mediocre starter (Jean-Sebastian Giguere) who needs a strong defensive team to be successful.  They have James Reimer, who appears to be the real deal.  Of course, he's injured now, but there are several talented goaltenders in the system, including Ben Scrivens and Jussi Rynnas.

To conclude, it really surprises me how good this team looks in the early stages of this season.  Of course, as the Avalanche proved last season, it's a long year, and even the mighty (or those that appear mighty) can fall.

Oh, and the Leafs just beat the Pens 4-3.

Prospecting: Roman Horak

BORN: May 21, 1991
HOMETOWN: Ceske Budejovice, Czech Republic
HEIGHT: listed at 6'0", but I doubt he's even 5'11"
WEIGHT: 171 pounds
DRAFTED: 5th round, 127th
ACQUIRED: with 2 2nd round picks (Markus Granlund and Tyler Wotherspoon) for Tim Erixon and a 5th round pick (Shane McColgan)

If someone had told me 2 months ago that Roman Horak would make the Calgary Flames' lineup out of training camp, I'd have called them an insane optimist.  "Obviously," I would have asserted, "Paul Byron is much closer to the NHL, having been a 50 point player in the AHL last season.  I think you may have been taking your positive pills this moring.  Horak may be a decent player in the NHL some day, but that day is a few years down the road."  Well, I would have been wrong, so it's good that no one tried to make that claim.  Indeed, I don't think anyone saw this coming.

After sitting for 2 games, Roman Horak found himself back in the roster for the Nashville and Colorado games.  The Flames are probably pretty happy that Sutter put the youngster back in, because he potted his first goal, and added an assist in a win over the pesky Avalanche.

The main reason Horak has seen a recent rise in his stock is because he is a highly cerebral player.  He already thinks the game at a pretty high level, and he has good playmaking and puck handling skills.  He plays an advanced defensive game for such a young player, and his offensive game is, being a playmaker, reliant on his linemates.  He has looked fairly good in the early stages of his first season, with 3 points in just 6 games, coupled with a +1 rating and no penalty minutes.  His only 3 shots on goal so far were all in the same game.  At no point has he looked to be overwhelmed by the speed and strength of his opposition (as T.J. Brodie was last season), and he has been good in the faceoff circle as well (though that part of his game has waned over the past couple games, capped off by a 25% performance last night against the Avs).  So, how good has Horak really been?

He has faced oddly stiff competition for such a young player (he'll turn 21 next May).  In fact, he's been facing tough competition for a player of any sort as, early on, he was getting caught against other teams' top lines (likely home teams taking advantage of the last change).  Because of this, the fact that he's been so thoroughly murdered possession wise (-16.76 on ice Corsi, -15.7 Corsi Rel) isn't surprising, or even discouraging.  So, what do we look at to evaluate him?  Well, the fact that he has a +1 rating with 3 points gives an excellent indication of the way his defensive game is going, given his strong quality of competition and hilariously one-sided shot differential.  Of course, this is all over a small sample size, but given that his competition should eventually start getting better-managed (or that he'll be playing with Stempniak rather than Kostopoulos) I don't foresee any reason to expect him to stop being a useful player.

Roman Horak (falling) lifts the puck over Jean-Sebastian Giguere

Horak celebrates his first goal with (from left) Jarome Iginla,
Jay Bouwmeester, and Mark Giordano

As stated before, Horak potted his first National Hockey League goal last night at home against the Colorado Avalanche.  As if he needed a way to make that moment any more special, there were some pretty good players on the ice, as the assists went to Alex Tanguay and future Hall of Famer Jarome Iginla.  The defensemen supporting the play were alternate Captains Jay Bouwmeester and Mark Giordano.  Kiprusoff was, of course, in goal at the other end.  Horak scored the goal against Jean-Sebastian Giguere who, while no star, has been a solid performer, and is a former Conn Smythe Trophy winner.  There were a few quality skaters on the other end, as well, with David Jones, Matt Duchene, Jan Hejda, Chuck Kobasew, and Shane O'Brien guarding Giguere.

Later, early in the 2nd period, Horak drove a shot at the net on a bit of a broken play.  Lee Stempniak picked up the rebound and buried his first of the season, and his first as a Flame.  Apparently Stempy, who is Horak's roommate on the road, has become something of a mentor to the young Czech Center.  No doubt it felt good to help his friend get his first.

Another, rather selfish reason to take pride in Horak's suddenly steep development curve is that it makes that notorious Tim Erixon trade look a lot better.  Having one of the assets work out almost right away softens the blow of losing the team's best prospect.  Now we just have to wait and see on Markus Granlund and Tyler Wotherspoon, the 2 2nd round picks the Flames received in the deal, to truly evaluate the trade.  Really though, Jay Feaster deserves credit for getting the best of a bad situation, and even more for targeting Roman as opposed to some other prospect.

Anyway, let it not be said that the Flames never give youth a chance, and wish Roman Horak lots of luck for the years ahead.

1000 Words: How Ironic

the only thing ironic about Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic" is that not one of the lines in the song is ironic.  Maybe she should take a look at some of these pictures!!!